gee | jay | oh

Ok,

So this has to be a short one, minus photos, mainly because there are none, I’ve got little time and well, I’m typing on a keyboard where the space bar only intermittently works. This could get very annoying, very very quickly.

There is a reason that Chinese drivers have a bad reputation

The trip here was a farce to say the least. One of the overwhelming observations of Chinese culture is their abject lack of ability to estimate things, be it distances to travel, durations of said journeys or even the cost of time of simple tasks. We decided to be the thrifty lao wai and get a bus ticket from our erstwhile home that is Zhu’Ma’Dian to the port city of Shen’zhen. With the help of a colleague at the university we had managed to negotiate tickets at the marked down price of 180 Yuan per person (This is a shade over 10GBP for those unable to use the Google converter), and we departed on 8th July at 11am. We were told this would be approx. a 19 hour journey over 1000km, which you’ll agree, was a bargain over a suggested flight of 70GBP or a train of 24 hours for 25GBP. What in fact transpired was at once hilarious and at times a little frightening. We had set off in high spirits, counting down the clock, fighting the urge to sleep on what was not the most comfortable of coaches – alas, following closely on from the news that we were to be over 5 hours late (remember what I said about estimations?), just as I was about to enter that blissfull wild dream filled sleep that often accompanies long journey’s, I was jolted so rudely by our bus lurching and skidding to a halt, barely missing smashing through the middle divide of the motorway. While this could have easily been a life threatening situation for me, the thing that struck me the most was that I thought this could be the end and I did not feel what I was supposed to feel. No fear and no shock, more a distinct frustration at not being able to continue the sleep I was just getting nestled in for.

Well, it turns out it was a half sleeping truck driver who has lost control veered across our path, forcing us into an emergency skid on the wet, up hill road. This collision took out a window and wing mirror of our bus, whilst serverly cracking the windscreen. To add insult to injury while we stopped one side of the road, the truck stopped parallel to us on the other, turning a three lane highway, used in the majority by coaches and trucks into a one lane bottleneck. This was later compounded by the impatient behaviour of a truck driver and a government official in his black sedan who deciding they could both make it through a gap for one car at the same time managed to wedge themselves between us and the truck that originally caused the accident.

This situation of being held on the roadside continued until 1.30am where the now (for us) legendary Chinese ability to discuss and stare but never take action for fear of losing face finally ended. The official was bribed, the police turned up and took some half assed pictures and we were left with a flat battery and no life in the engine on the side of the road. After the majority of men got out and pushed (that’s right, pushed a coach) we were back on our way. Albeit so paninfully briefly. At the next opportunity the driver turned off the high way and stopped the coach. It seemed he had decided that a schedule was not to be kept, driving had ceased for this evening and he was sleeping. He whipped out his sleeping mat, laid it in front of the coach and was off to sleep.

This is where it got interesting – we were told we would not continue our journey until the next afternoon with more than half of our journey still to cover. This was now a desperate situation for us – we were not going to make our flight, we were in the middle of nowhere, up shit creek without a paddle if you will. But then the paddle for this weak metaphor was revealed in the form a local taxi that swung by and my comrade’s assistant back in Zhu’ma’dian. A self-prescribed insomniac, she is a native Chinese and very helpful. We could only hope she was still awake. After ringing her for advice and translation help we first tried to negotiate the continuation of the journey for us to Sehnzhen. Unfortunately this would have meant a 600 mile round trip for the taxi driver and flouting what little traffic laws the Chinese do have by taking 5 tired Lao3 Wai4 and their baggage in a cab designed for 4. The prospect was too much for him and so he suggested two taxis at 4000 yuan each. This was way over what we could afford or were willing to shell out even for a last minute reprieve from missing our plane.

And so, enter our saviour. The Chinese assistant rings a friend and tells us she can get flights for us from the nearest airport to Shenzheng for 50GBP each and we dont have to pay until we get to our destination. Fearing this is the only bit of good news we are going to get all night we asked her to book these flights for us and re-arrange this taxi to take us to the Changsha airport, the capital of the province we were currently in. So, after a 2 hour taxi ride, back the way we came, 500 yuan more in taxi fares, we finally arrived back at civilisation and the opportunity to get our journey back on track.

Reverse Culture Shock?

So I’ve arrived in Bangkok, sleep deprived and with a dodgy gut but well, for the start of my two month holiday and some actual Greg time that has been a long time coming. It’s been 6 years since I had a holiday and for once I think it is well deserved.

Strange though, my first overall feelings of this place is that I’d rather be back in China. I don’t think this is stemming from anything like bad weather or an opressive atmosphere, but I’m finding it strange to have to convere with others where my only form of communication is English, i’m struggling to come to terms with seeing with so many Western faces, it’s giving me a headache. I’ll get used to it once again, but I have become used to using Chinese as my first line of discourse with someone before I resort to using this language of English that now seems to be something I am loathed to use. I want to use Chinese here in Thailand, but I can’t!

So i’m here in Bangkok for 5 days or so before moving on, so expect updates whenever I can get to a computer.

Zaijian!